You know, life has it's ups and downs, and you just have to learn to go with the flow but it's not always that easy. I just feel like my whole life is up in the air, I don't know what I'm going to do next, I'm confused.
It just seems like everything is happening at once. Like to start, my father could be moving just a two hour drive away.. or could be moving 4 provinces away. And this really sucks. My sister and I have been looking at houses with him, locally.. well sort of locally, and I just don't want him to move away. My parents have been divorced for 5 years now and I've always expected him to move away because he hates this city so much. We were the only things keeping him here but four provinces away is crazy! We'd never get to seem him. My dad is the one person that understands me and sees thing from my point of view. I don't know what I would do without him.
On top of that, we have these stupid meetings at school. They're this one-on-one meeting with just you and a Counsellor or one of the Vice Principles. You're supposed to talk about what your plans for the future are, what you want to be, what you are going to go for school, blah blah blah. This especially sucks for me because I have no clue what I'm going to do with my life. I'm only 17 for god sake! I shouldn't have to choose my career path, what I want to do of the rest of my life at 17. This is insane! In 10 years time, I will be a completely different person, a more mature person with a very different view on life, who is in a much different place. What if I end up hating what I do? This just isn't fair.. You know what? I'm going to be a homeless bum or better yet, marry rich. Hey, and if the marriage fails, I will just live off alimony checks! All my problems are solved... just not really..
I wish I had some sort of talent, like being able to sing or something. I could be famous (which I know is a ridiculous idea, but go with me for a second) and make tons of money and help out all my family and friends. That would be my ultimate goal: to make sure all my family and friends were happy and comfortable.
And I'm still just so confused.. What do I like to do? What is something I could enjoy for the rest of my life? God, I know I don't want to go into sciences or medical. I love music, and photography and film, I love being creative and working with others. Like right know, I'm working on a song with a friend for her music composition class and I have to say, it sounds really good. It's crazy! Or at least I think it is so far, I'm the only one to hear it other than her. You know what I love to do? I love to take someone else's idea and make it perfect, make it come to life. I've really considered going into something like music producing..
Anyways, this hasn't really help me with much but I hope that maybe it helps someone else. I'm still lost, I still don't know what I want to do with my life and knowing me, I'll probably never know. Just watch me be 80 years-old with all my teeth falling out and I will be sitting in my rocker still confused... but that will probably be because I have dementia or something. Gaaaah, life is a female dog and she obviously doesn't like me. *bangs face on desk*
Sincerely, Confused Anna.
